cosmology
by smut zombie
Summary: fluff & nonsense.
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR NOTE  
>re-writing this horrible garbage...<br>the new version is very fluffy. please don't read it.**  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>only my cosmology:<strong>

The strange & romantic horror story of XANXUS+TSUNA~

Everything started on a strange day.

The first thing was, it was only February, but the sky was entirely clouded. I was out of bed but I wasn't even hardly awake when some-one gave me a crazy flaming letter. It seemed to be about Sawada Tsunayoshi, so I threw it some-where and let it burn itself up. After that, the phone rang... I stared at it, but didn't answer... not if it's about Sawada Tsunayoshi, I thought. Then there was silence throughout the building... a sick smell was becoming more noticeable. My mobile phone rang... then, some-one else's, close by. The piece of garbage that picked up that phone is really loud, so in any other case I would have been able to hear the conversation through the wall, but the wind was so loud outside. There was some yelling and I figured it meant he would be looking for me, so I decided to jump down from the window. The sky was too close. I swear the clouds were red like blood that day. Blood was seeping out between them like the cracks in scabbed-over skin. The crazy wind was blowing my coat and the stuff in my hair all over the place, but I thought I'd take a walk, anyway. At first I had thought it was just the building, but the smell must have been every-where... it wasn't me, for sure. I guess it was just the wind blowing the scent of infected skin from the crumby bleedy sky. Half-dead trees were getting their leaves blown off as I walked through them. I looked at the lifelessness all around and smelled the gorey air and wondered... what could have happened to Tsunayoshi that the HQ absolutely had to tell us about? As I found out, it wasn't really what happened to him, (which was a depressing story in itself), but rather where he was going because of it. When I finally slipped silently back into the house because the sky was threatening to let its blood fall all over me, who else should I find sleeping on the couch but the brat himself.

His hair was windswept. He was curled on the sofa in a sort of fetal position, using the arm wrapped about his face as a pillow. I saw him and I got a hot feeling in my stomach... I wanted to kill him. I shuffled over to the sofa, intending to take the disregarded throw pillow and smother him with it, but I watched my own hand go instead to his face and brush the sticky hair away, like it wasn't even me. It made me sick. His face was shiny with dried up tears. I was going to puke. His stupid brown eyes opened up and the whites were all pink... he looked up at me slowly, and I could tell he got scared because I felt him trembling under my crazy hand. It got worse when the tears started streaming down his cheeks and even snot dripped out of his nose, he was trembling so bad it shook my whole arm. I think the sickness was really kicking in, then, cause my hand just wiped away one line of tears before letting me pull it away again. I got out of there as fast as I could.

I was pretty freaked out by that incident, so I spent the rest of the week inside my room. The sky couldn't make up its mind that week. The hot, rotten wind died away and the clouds turned black and cold. Some times it looked like it would rain, but it just stayed barrenly dry. Other times the rain fell so hard it woke me up at night. After about a hundred years, the sun came shyly out from behind the filthy-looking clouds. I was feeling dizzy and I stumbled out of my room towards the dining room that day, and it was some circumstance that SQUALO happened to be there. He was turning an apple in his hand, and he crushed it when he saw me come in, like, just dug his fingers in until it broke into pieces. I lost my appetite a little. I put on my most agitated face and avoided eye contact for as long as I could... I just wanted to get to the food. As soon as I was swords-length away from him, though, he stood up and slammed his dirty hand on the table. Here it comes, I thought...

"VVVOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

Where the fuck were you when all this shit with the brat went down? No-one's been able to get a hold of you since..."

God, his voice was like gravel scraping in my head. I had to tune it all out. I didn't know why he was giving me all this, anyway― Squalo was always the one who supported my avoidance of Tsunayoshi, since he knew better than any-one else that I couldn't control my murderous impulses. I guessed it was time to tune back in, to see what made this occasion special.

"... And the Ninth is about to throw your ass in a block of ice again if you don't go down there and fucking talk to him."

"Let's go, then," I said back. His eye twitched a little, but he went, anyway. So much for trying to get some food.

It turned out all that old bastard wanted was for me to take care of Tsunayoshi until they could get all the preparations finished. On top of having to get him into a good school in the area and every-thing else, they were really bent on going through with the inheritance ceremony for real, this time, and now that Timoteo was his only "immediate family," what better choice did he have, really? It would only be for a little while, he told me. Anyway, I knew the real reason he made a big fuss about getting me in person was so he could make that face at me. He does this stupid puppy face where he tries to sternly look at you while showing you how sad his eyes will look if you disobey him, but I'd been immune to that look since I was a kid, when he told me I shouldn't use my dying will flames to set things on fire.

When we returned home, I wanted to just avoid him until he had to leave, but the worst thing that could have happened happened. When I decided to go to sleep, it was late. The whole house was pitch black, but I had walked it so many times, I had no problem getting back to my room. However, when I went inside and turned on the light, there he was again. I went over to the bed and kicked it, and he sat up and looked at me with squinty sleepy stupid eyes.

"Xanxus? What are you doing here?"

"This is my room, trash." He blinked and rubbed both eyes like a baby.

"Ehhh, I'm sorry, I'll leave right now―" and with that, he tumbled out of my bed and ran out the door. After he left, I stared at the door and frowned for a while, then eventually changed into my jimjams so I could go to bed. I kept laying there, thinking about him and his stupid shiny face... not really anything besides that. It was dreamy. It took me a while to realise some-one was knocking on my door, but even then I didn't feel like answering it. I was really comfortable in the half-dreaming state. Then I guess my dreams became real because my eyes were wide open and I was staring at Tsunayoshi's face. He was just staring back at me with these giant eyes... what a creeper.

"Ermm... errr... I'm really... lost... Could you help me find my room?" he said, in the most timid voice ever. I could tell right away just from the sound of it that he had been crying again. What a dolt... but I said okay, so out we went into the hall. And no wonder he was lost, it was blacker than ever. He told me which room they put him in, and we made our way along slowly, since he was huddling really close. Probably was afraid of running into something and waking up all the crazies. My hand took the liberty of taking Tsuna's. I didn't even care anymore. He held onto it tightly. My eyes were not able to adjust to the dark at all, and I started seeing crazy blue and green orbs, so I got this idea.

"Hey. Let's run."

"Wha―" But the word turned into a yell, because I wasn't waiting~

I ran to the end of the hallway as fast as I could, still gripping Tsuna's hand while he flailed and screamed behind me. I sort of half-screamed, half-laughed back, and the sound echoed as we ran up the staircase. Here was Tsuna's room, the door ajar, and I yanked him inside and slammed it shut. I couldn't help smiling like crazy, but even though my eyes were as wide as they could go, everything was still blue, and a little bit indigo from the light outside the bedroom window. In that little light, I could see Tsunayoshi's face again. It was pretty pathetic looking, but I guess that's nothing new. I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder; They were probably awake by now, so I figured it'd be better if we sat it out on the roof. I swear, no-one ever thinks to look for you outside when you live in a mansion.

Tsuna was yelling and crying a little bit when I set him down on the roof, and my stomach dropped in horror when I realised what I was about to do. I didn't kiss him hard, but it was enough to bring his yelling down to a whimper. Then I just sort of stayed like that for a while, with my lips on the corner of his mouth, and his scared breath on my face made me understand a little bit why my body kept making me do those unthinkable things. Eventually, I got off him and just sat down on the edge. The sky was finally one hundred per-cent clear― I could see all the stars. After a while, I could hear soft breathing behind me; Tsuna had fallen asleep, just like that, right where I set him. I crawled up to where he was and rested my head on his stomach, and joined him pretty quickly.


	2. Chapter 2

"Wake up, Xanxus."

A hand was prodding me softly on the shoulder. I opened my eyes, and the boss of the Vongola Famiglia was standing above me... His tie and shirt were loose, untucked and unbuttoned, coat probably thrown on the floor some-where, but he stood as formally as if he were doing business; Even after every-thing, he was very cautious around me. I grabbed onto his slobb-y tie and pulled him down on top of me, and he made a girly noise and hid his face by smashing it against my solar plexus. It got pretty hot right there, as if he was blushing, and that's when I knew that the new title Sawada Tsunayoshi had gained that day hadn't changed him at all.

The days leading up to the inheritance ceremony had been pretty tense. We had been fuckering around a lot ever since he started staying at my house, and it was a little bit like a "wake-up call" when we got news from the HQ that they were ready to go through with it. At that point, I let some really hot feelings come back to me. I remembered why I hated that kid... All his crumby, unconditional love. The way he practically peed his pants when he first saw me, but still managed to kick my ass when we fought. Worst of all, the way the look on his face completely changed when he was fighting... The face that was dangerous and hopelessly innocent at the same time.

One day, I decided to do something really horrible. Tsunayoshi was still trying to adjust his sleeping schedule to fit with the Varia's habit of operating at night, and had fallen asleep next to me on the sofa just as the sun was rising. That little rat-like thing he keeps was sleeping on my lap, and after staring at Tsuna for a long time, I picked it up and headed for the bathroom. It wasn't afraid of me any-more, and just went back to sleep when I put it down. I filled up the sink with water to the point where it was nearly overflowing, then grabbed that thing and shoved it in. It took a second for it to realise that it didn't have anything to breathe any-more, but as soon as that happened, it started struggling right away. It must have been yelling for help or something, because the water was totally gurgling and bubbling; How useless it was on its own! I couldn't help imagining it as Tsuna... It wasn't hard, considering how weak and stupid-looking it was. It got me feeling pretty horny, and the water stopped bubbling and turned pink with blood when i wrapped my hands around its neck, making the thing dig its claws into my skin.

It was really weak... Disappointingly weak. I probably would have killed it out of pure contempt, if it weren't for the fact that it was so bright. What I mean by that is... Most things you put in the sink will make a shadow. Even if they are white, once the basin is full up, it's very dark inside. This thing... Its head was made out of inextinguishable sky flames, or something. While it thrashed and clawed at my hands beneath the surface of the water, the light from its mane reflected off the white basin and shined in my face like the sun that was rising at the same time right out the window. I lost interest. I felt sick to my stomach. My hands slowly opened, and the thing clawed its way up my arm in .05 seconds, like I was a goddamned tree. I fell to my knees and bent over into the bathtub and a sort of wretch-y thing wracked my body. I didn't puke or dry-heave or any-thing, but I kind of wish I did. I was feeling so sick. The thing I had just tried to drown 5 seconds ago was still on my shoulder and it started licking my face. Animals are so dumb, some-times... Or maybe they are just crazy. I dragged my body back to where Tsunayoshi was sleeping, leaving a pink trail from the water and blood that steadily dripped down my arms. The rat-thing shook itself off and jumped onto Tsuna's head. I laid down and wrapped my soggy arms around him. I didn't feel love, or any-thing... just emptiness.

The next night, I stayed in a strange, emotionless state. On the good side, I wasn't angry and wanting to drown things any-more, but the part that I guess was unfortunate was that I didn't want to do any-thing to or with any-one. The feeling was like a detached hatred. It was as if all the moments I spent with Tsunayoshi that made me realise why I didn't want to kill him any-more were all worthless, now. I looked at him, or any-one, and all I saw was filthy meat and blood and bones.

The thing that brought me back happened when I got home, and he was in his room watching some animation on tape. He had made, like, some kind of weird igloo thing out of the blanket, and he could barely keep his squinty eyes open. I sat down next to him on the bed and rested my head on top of his, and he looked up and kissed me right on the forehead. That killed me. Tsuna was more submissive than even the most submissive girl I ever met, and that was the first time he had done any-thing remotely like making the first move. I grabbed his chin before he could look back down and kissed him slowly. When I went to break it, he caught my tongue in his teeth and I realised I really didn't care if he became the tenth boss or not... Either way, if he pissed me off I could easily kill him, especially now that it was like this.


	3. Chapter 3

The way it was, the temperature in the room was rising. I had been on top of Tsunayoshi for a while, pretty much shoving my tongue down his throat, and the rising sun was shining straight onto us through the open window. After we were sweaty from all the necking and crazy sunlight, I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against his. He put his hand on my cheek and stroked the scar there; usually he was pretty affectionate about it, but this time it was more like an absent-minded fidget. It was the first day of summer, and all of his friends would be getting out of school, soon.

We had made plans to all go on a small holiday together―Tsunayoshi and all his fake guardians and ladies, me, Squalo, Levi, Luss, Mammon and Bel, and even those crazy babies. Even though that morning we had known we would have to leave for the airport in just a few hours, we decided to stay in bed and neck for a while longer, and I guess that's why when we did get to the airport, every-one was running to get to the terminal. I was walking, but it didn't really matter because Tsunayoshi ended up dropping his suitcase and tripping over it, so I would have had to come back to help him pick up his stuff, any-way.

On the plane, I was sitting with a window on one side and Tsuna on the other. The sun was bright and hot when I looked out the window, and it was making the clouds glow yellow. I held Tsuna's hand and half examined, half zoned out while looking at it. It reminded me of when we fought for the sky ring, and the first time we kissed. It made me wonder... If I were to hold it now like it was then (the former), how long would it take him to notice? I let the bubbling flames come out of my hand slowly, gradually getting hotter and hotter. When his whole hand was covered in them, it occurred to me how weird it was that he still hadn't noticed, and I finally looked up at his face; He was ghostly pale, and the eyes that were overfocused on something that wasn't there were wide open. Was he zoning out, or did he like it? Or maybe... Maybe the nerve endings in his hand got burned off already. I almost laughed at that one! I didn't want him to not be able to feel, though, so I let go. There was a sort of ripping noise when our hands finally came apart, and he closed his eyes tight and made a weird noise that, even though it was out of pain, sounded really erotic. I had already been kind of excited from burning him, and suddenly I really, really, really wanted to fuck him. I tried to sink down into my seat to escape from the crazy boner I was getting, but it didn't help. I cautiously looked back over at Tsunayoshi... His eyes were still closed, face flushed, head tilted back against the seat, and he was breathing heavily. I knew it was for feelings entirely opposite of the sexy kind, but the image was stuck in my head, now, and I was going to kill some-one if I didn't get what I wanted.

Without thinking of consequences, I practically jumped out of my seat, grabbed Tsuna by the wrist, and dragged him back to where the toilet was. I shoved him in hard enough to make him sit right on the toilet and started making out with him before the door was hardly even closed. He was trying to say something (probably along the lines of "NO") instead of kissing me back, so I grabbed his wrist with one hand and pulled him up and shoved him into the wall, then the other hand was used to grab his free hand and make him feel my hard-on. His talking turned into moaning pretty quickly after that.

We carried on like that for a while, with me just basically grinding on Tsuna's hand, until he stopped kissing me so he could catch his breath. At that time, he first undid my trousers, and then, after hesitating a little bit, his own. My eyes might have got kind of wide then, I think, since he's always too shy to let me touch him, so he turned his face away and blushed awkwardly. I moved in closer and let go of his wrist so I could pull his trousers down with both hands, then pressed our bodies together. Having always had sort of wide hips is embarrassing as a guy, but it made it so I could rub my dick up against the side of his hip and at the same time be grinding against his. He grabbed onto mine and kind of jerked it at the same time I was moving, I guess, and I started to get dizzy and high from being pleased so much. There was some-thing missing, though, and my brain was not functioning properly, so I just let my intuition make my hands do whatever they wanted. They pushed Tsuna's shirt up, stroking the smooth skin underneath, then ripped the buttons apart from the bottom up. I felt the heat in my hands and adrenaline that meant I was using the flame of rage, and one of them dug its nails into his stomach and dragged them down sloppily and sharply. He gave me a really nice scream for that. The other hand grabbed onto his hair, singeing it a little, and I had to bend my knees even moreso than they were already so I could bite his neck like a hungry dog.

At that point, I was still digging my nails into him and some-how fucking his hand like a madman at the same time... Our arms were all tangled up. This time, the noises he was making were sincerely erotic, and all of a sudden I felt some-thing hot and sticky all over. I looked up from his neck and saw him biting his lip and making a whining noise... Well, sort of saw. It seemed like some-one had turned the lights up; It was so obnoxiously hot and bright in the tiny stall. I kind of went blind and numb for a second, but when I came back, Tsuna was sitting on the toilet again and I was collapsed on the ground between his legs. There was a mess all over the wall... Oops. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.~

After we arrived in Namimori, we stayed in the same nice place we did for the ring battles. Both Tsunayoshi and I were very eager to get clean, so we took a bath together. We were too exhausted to do anything sexy, though. Tsuna laid on the bed afterwards and I sat next to him, seeing how bad the damage was―I told him he should wear a wetsuit or some-thing, so Reborn wouldn't see the marks and get freaky. The baby was always acting like he was the only one who could fuck Tsuna up, and I really did not like him or want to have to talk to him or get shot by his stupid lizard gun. When we went to meet every-one at the beach the next day, he just decided to wear a T-shirt over his swimming trunks... Not like he could swim well enough to go in the water that deep, any-way.

On the beach, I just mostly laid in my chair the whole time. I fell asleep while watching Tsuna boringly talk to his friends. He told me later that the two of them were planning on moving to Italy to join him as soon as they finished school, and the one who had lived in Italy before, anyway, was going to move back as soon as he got the money for it. The girls talked more about him coming to visit them, except for the eye-patch girl, who said nothing.

I woke up to Levi's voice―

"Boss... Boss... It's time to leave."

The nap was really warm and pleasant, but I was glad to get out of that boring place. Dreams about shooting stars made me want to set some-thing on fire...

Afterwards, we all ate at his friend's sushi place. It must have been unpleasantly nostalgic for Tsunayoshi, because he had this wistful sort of look on his face. Some-one should have comforted him, but all I wanted to do was rip his healing wounds back open and set his blood on fire. On the way back to our lodgings, the white summer sun that had made us hot the morning before was now painting everything red and orange, taking its warmth with it as it sunk below the horizon. We had to walk past Tsuna's old house to get there... Every-one went ahead, but he and I stayed to take one last look. Of course, the dusty "for sale" sign was still there... No-one wants to buy a house with a story like that. Tsuna still hadn't told me the details of his parents' death, and all I knew was that he had been the one to find them. Watching the way the tears streamed down his face against his will and his whole body shook violently, it was obvious he wasn't going to, now.

"Hey. I have an idea..."

When we came back it was late at night, but the pavement still seemed to buzz with warmth from the crazy sun. We were fully clothed, now, carrying red containers in our hands, and I had my x-guns and he his gloves and pills.

"Ready?"

"Yeah, Ready."

We broke in through the window and the atmosphere hit us hard. It smelled like death. Still, the house, like the ground outside, gave the illusion of being charged with warmth and energy... No lights were on, but it seemed to be nearly as bright as day―or at least, an overcast day. The light had a distinct colourlessness about it.

We stepped towards the stairs. At the top, the warm, grey light abruptly gave way to thick darkness, but we climbed them any-way. Tsuna did his room, covered all the furniture he left behind, the place where he had spent all his time alone before meeting Reborn. I did the bathroom, the splash of the gasoline echoing off the tiled surfaces. Then we went in together, to the room where it happened...

The smell was exponentially worse. It was so dark, it made it seem as if the grey light had been a dream. Tsuna stood paralysed in the doorway, so I started. While I was doing the walls, I heard him slowly step towards the bed. His breathing was laboured. For a while, that and the wet splatter of gasoline being thrown onto the walls were the only sounds in the room. Finally, the slosh of his container and the muffled sound of liquid hitting the soft surface... It was done. We practically ran out of the room and didn't stop until we were all the way outside and beyond the gate, leaving a haphazard trail of gasoline behind us. That's when Tsuna took one of his dying will pills and got into position... Under the light of the dying will flame that stood out in the darkness, the bars on his contacts were barely visible. I took out my guns and pointed them at the trail of gas.

"Three... Two... One...

Fire."


	4. Chapter 4

"It's hot as hell in here."

The stairs were on fire and the girl was walking into them. After the cutscene ended, I sat silently in my chair for a few minutes, eyes wide open and the controller resting in my lap. It was raining like crazy outside, but I still practically had a heart-attack when a soft voice came from behind me.

"What are you playing?" I pressed start and turned around. A flash of lightening revealed Tsunayoshi standing a few metres away. A violent clap of thunder followed, and I turned back to the screen and pressed start again. The guy went back out the door he came from and ended up in a flame-less version of the same stairwell. Suddenly Tsuna was standing right next to me.

"... I can't sleep," he said. He sounded just like a child. I just made the guy on the screen keep running. He walked around the chair and sat down in front of me, but he was too short to even block the television, so I kept playing. The guy walked through a pair of doors, and another cutscene started to play. The main girl screamed and the guy screamed in return while Tsuna ran his hand up the inside of my thigh. More screaming. A splatter of blood and a heart stopped beating, and Tsuna was unzipping my pants and pulling my cock out. Then, the only sounds were the rain and the depressing music. The guy gave a hardcore monologue and Tsuna's hot breath and tongue were on me. He'd never done any-thing like this before, and it probably would have freaked me out if I wasn't in the middle of a minor boss fight. I went to the items menu, and the licking and whimpering noises suddenly seemed too loud. I guess the rain had died down a little bit. I selected the gun that usually killed enemies the fastest, then made the guy run around the room and shoot at each of the bosses. Tsuna was holding onto my dick really tightly, and he started to go all the way down. They ended up being really easy to beat, and after a few minutes just impaled their own faces. During the short cutscene, Tsuna was holding my dick in one hand while rubbing his cheek against it and grabbing my balls with the other hand so he could lick them. I swear, he must have gone crazy or something. It made a kind of weird atmosphere; The erotic (and slightly disturbing) sounds of Tsuna moaning and sucking, the footsteps and sad background voices of the game guy and his dead wife, and the creepy, soft rain falling outside. After being killed three times already, the main girl was back again, and I guessed she must have been the final boss. Tsuna's head was bobbing up and down and he was sucking on my cock as if it was the most delicious fucking lollipop he had ever tasted or something, rubbing his hot tongue against the underside of it, and it was getting a little bit hard to ignore. I tried to make the guy shoot at the lady, but my vision was blurring, and she got me with her crazy tentacles.

The screen went back to the black menu. I dropped the controller and grabbed his hair just as this crazy moan came out of me. Out of nowhere, lightening flashed outside again, and the image of Tsuna's lustful face got burned into my eyes. The noise he made while looking up from between my legs was pretty much drowned out by thunder, afterwards, and the rain started falling hard again. I pulled him up onto my lap by his hair and he took his trousers off and the girl from the game started talking on the screen. He kissed me slowly while holding onto my cock, then he slowly slid down onto it and the music started to play... The whole scene was too disturbing for my tastes, but not disturbing enough to turn me off, so I grabbed his hips and let him do the work. He was shaking pretty badly and I think he was holding his breath, but once I was all the way inside, he moaned really loudly, then slowly raised his hips up again and dropped them, raised and dropped them, kept doing it slowly until the theme song had been over for a while. Lightening flashed and thunder clapped so closely together that it freaked us both out, and he just sat holding me tightly for a little while. Once he was relaxed again, he started to rock his hips slowly, pressing them down against mine almost hard enough to make me numb, and I couldn't help but moan again. It was weird to moan twice in one night... Usually I didn't do it at all. I guess that was a special occasion, getting laid for the first time in about a hundred years and all.

Both of us were breathing heavy and Tsuna was moaning like a slut, and gradually his hips went from the close grinding to just pretty much jumping up and down on my cock. His hands were somewhere on me, digging the nails in, and at some point I started holding onto him and thrusting my dick up into his crazy ass. I was getting sick of hearing the song from the game, but I didn't want to have to stop and look for the remote, so I just got up while holding him and pressed mute on the television. It kind of freaked Tsuna out and snapped him out of his sexy state, and he squeaked and clung to me. After I carried him back to the chair, though, we started necking, and it didn't take long for him to start riding on my cock again. I just sat back and closed my eyes. Tsuna kept moaning more and more hotly, then was drowned out again by the sound of thunder. My body started trembling all over. Like a sign or something, I opened my eyes on an impulse and looked past Tsunayoshi at the dim screen. The fat guy was making a gesture and mouthing the word "pow." I reached under my coat and pulled out one of my x-guns. Tsuna groaned in agony (as if he couldn't have been used to it, by then), but kept on fucking me. I pointed the gun at his head and thumbed the safety off. The rain was pouring so hard it sounded like it would break the roof, and lightening flashed and thunder sounded closely again. In the split second of light, I could see that Tsuna wasn't looking horny any-more, but he didn't look scared, either. Just... Dreamy. He took the end of the gun and guided it down, to where I could not see in the dim light, but from the way his voice sounded when he panted, I think he was pointing it in his mouth and sticking his tongue out. Another quiet sound started, and I guessed that he had started to jerk off. The whole time, he still hadn't stopped slamming his ass down onto my cock, and now his hips moving was getting pretty sloppy. My dick started throbbing and my whole body was getting tense... I guess I was right to think Tsuna should be used to my habits by then, because he expertly moved my gun to the side just as I came, moaning again and shooting all my jizz up in his ass and clasping my hands shut and pulling the trigger.

He stayed sitting on me and wanking until he jizzed all over his hand, then shakily got up and kind of stumbled away from the chair. The television screen was a little bit blackened from the wall next to it getting shot, so I couldn't see what he was doing at all, but soon he came over and kissed me, which was when I realised that he had been licking the crazy mess off his hand so he could fucking snowball me. He made a sort of grunting noise and shoved his tongue in my mouth so I had to swallow it, and as soon as I was free, I pushed him to the floor. As I left, the image on the screen was of the girl talking to the guy with her hand on his cheek, and I could hear Tsuna laughing even after I had left the room and slammed the door, and not even the thunder was able to drown him out, this time.

* * *

><p>AUTHOR NOTE:<br>i'll write an omake if some-one recognises the game... (o´･ε･`o)


	5. Chapter 5

I found Tsuna sitting at the window, staring out at the rain. The look on his face was totally blank, like he was some-one who forgot every-thing in his life and couldn't even remember to remember. He had been having moments like this ever since that night when I took his virginity and almost blew his brains out, and I wondered if the fall (or rather, the push) had damaged him, or something. I sat down next to him. Neither of us said or did anything for a long time. The window was all fogged up, and I made a sort of upside-down U-shape and looked over at him. He kept staring expressionlessly out the window, but he reached out and made another U-shape on the other side, finishing the heart. Then he rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes.

"I think I'm ready."

"For...?"

"To tell you what happened." I stared at the rain streaming down the window. There was another long silence. Then he told me every-thing.

Apparently, his parents had gotten sick some time in january. Both of them had high fevers and were bed-ridden for a couple of weeks. Tsuna took turns with the girls bringing them home-made soup and towels for their foreheads. They were really grateful and kept saying, because they were being cared for so kindly, they were sure to get well, soon. However, by the third week, they were starting to get worried... Nana and Iemitsu were showing no signs of improvement, and there was something else. The smell of vomit and bodily fluids coming from the room was turning bloody. Every-one agreed that it would be best to take them to a doctor. Plans were made that night, and every-one left the Sawada residence with an awful feeling in his gut.

Tsuna woke up on the day the appointment was scheduled for and knew it was over; On top of sickness and blood, the smell of death pervaded the air. Still, even though he knew it in his heart, he wouldn't believe it. There's still time, right? I just saw them alive yesterday... He went to the bedroom and pushed the door open, and the rotten air blew in his face and made his eyes water.

"Mom? Dad?"

At first, he didn't even see them. He absent-mindedly wondered, did some-one change the sheets? They weren't that colour last night, and then it hit him. Everything was soiled dark. The two figures awkwardly lumped on the bed were barely recognisable; bloody sores that covered their skin had stained their bodies and the bed with deep reds and browns. In the dark room, it looked black. Blood was caked in dried streams from their eyes, ears, mouths, noses, and who knows where else, probably. Nana's eyes were so dark with it that they looked like they had been closed forever. Her face was reminiscent of that of a crying infant; innocent, helpless. They had been dead for long enough that most of the blood was dried, already. The only place that was still really wet (and even that was coagulated) was were there was a puddle of blood that the corpse of Iemitsu was lying face-down in. There were bloody handprints on the wall above him. Tsuna had been the only one in the house that night (all three of the babies were staying with his female classmates to avoid catching the illness) and he never heard them scream.

It turned out that the virus was not native, but had been imported to Japan at some point for potential use as a biological weapon. Foul play was of course suspected, and two marks on the body of each that were particularly noticeable were thought to be the places where the murderer had injected the virus. Of course, both of them went out often and Iemitsu worked with the mafia, so it was impossible to come up with any-one who could have been a suspect.

Tsuna told me that after he found them, he had ran to the bathroom and dry-heaved for what had to be at least an hour.

"I didn't expect it to be as bad as that," he told me. It didn't seem very characteristic of him to have thought about how his parents would look when they were dead prior to actually seeing them that way, but I was prevented from thinking about it too much when he burst into tears.

Usually I get a kick out of watching Tsunayoshi cry, but this time I didn't feel any-thing, so I just held him against me. The rain kept on falling, and so did his tears. We stayed like that until it seemed like he had no more liquid left in his body to cry out, then I carried him back to my bedroom. He was giving me this look like I was the first human he had ever seen on this earth, and I smiled when I thought, seriously for the first time, that he had really lost it. He reached up and stroked my hair like I was a doll, and kissed me straight on the lips. I kissed him back and took his hand, and tears started to stream out of his wide eyes, again. We kept on kissing, and eventually we ended up with both of us totally stripped, breathing hard with our hips pressed together. I fucked him while he cried, and kept on holding his hand. Afterwards, I felt filthy with tears and sweat, so I went to take a shower. The rain had been pouring loudly up until then, and, after I came back from cleaning myself off, I found him at the window again.

"Look, Xanxus," he turned to me and said. Then, I think he showed me the face that was usually reserved for his friends: The bright smile that wasn't crazy, or nervous, or melancholic.

Real happiness, untainted by sadism.

... Not that I would know what that was.

Outside the window, the clouds had parted in places, and a rainbow shined through in the colourless rain.


	6. Chapter 6

Tsunayoshi has been missing for a week, now. Of course I am the prime (and pretty much only) suspect, considering that I am the only person he ever spends time with and we are almost never apart, aside from when I'm working. We've searched the whole mansion about 50 times, called HQ and interrogated nearly every-one there, and had several searches of the surrounding area... Not one single clue has turned up, and the more every-one searches, the more they come to suspect me.

... To-day I didn't go outside.

While every-one was out, trying desperately to find some place we hadn't checked, some person who hadn't been threatened yet, I was roaming around inside. I started feeling sick... Every-thing reminded me of him. The hallways we ran through on the first night, the dining room where he never learned to eat spaghetti properly; It seemed as if we had a special memory for every single room in the house. The worst was the roof. I don't know how many times we'd gotten in fights, or screamed too loudly while having sex, or just had nothing better to do, and ended up sneaking out the window and onto the roof. We would lay out there and stare up at the stars and talk about and cosmology and every-thing― or rather, mostly he would talk and I would listen. The things I had to say usually scared him, any-way. I was drawn to that place and I laid there for most of the day. I felt like I was on an island surrounded by a sea of mist. It scared the hell out of me when Squalo jumped through the window and started yelling, but I didn't get up. I told my story for about the millionth time while lying on my back and staring up at the white sky.

It was Tsunayoshi's birthday, just four days after mine. After the party, at which every-one clearly saw him, we spent the night together in my room. When I woke up in the morning, he was gone. I wanted Squalo to go away because I was really starting to feel sick.

"Boss, you need to tell me exactly what you did, or else you're going to get fucking arrested for this," he told me in an exasperated voice. It wasn't the first time.

"We didn't do any-thing. That's all of it. Every-thing I remember."

Of course, he didn't believe me. No-one did. He shook his head and went to go back inside.

"Wait."

"What is it, now?"

"How the hell did you find me up here?"

"I could see you when I walked up to the house, retard."

I gave him a good kick in the head as he left, but still, what the fuck? He must have had better vision than I thought, if he could see up through all that mist.

After I was sure he was gone, I went back inside, looking around the room to see if Tsunayoshi had left behind any clues. It was a small room and it didn't take long to completely ravage it. I ripped open the drawers, threw all the clothes out of the closet, and tore the sheets off the bed, but there was absolutely nothing. My stomach was really hurting, and now, there was another feeling inside me, so I dropped down onto the bed and covered my eyes. It was hot... my face was really hot. I put my hands back down and stared up at the ceiling, but it went into a blur. As I closed my eyes, some-thing made two cold trails on my hot face, and I thought this must have been how Tsuna felt all the time.

I opened my eyes again and sniffled. Not really thinking, I slipped my hand into my pocket. There was some-thing smooth and hard inside, and I vaguely realised that it was some-thing from the night Tsuna disappeared. I pulled it out... A tiny glass bottle.

I was holding Tsuna's hand while we walked up the stairs together. Both of us were smiling at each other, but there was something off. In the bedroom, we kissed with me on top of him, as usual, then I said,

"Hey. let me give you some-thing special for your birthday."

"Really?" he replied, "Because I have some-thing I saved for you, too!"

He took the glass bottle out of his pocket and held it up to my face.

"Drink it when you're feeling sad, and the feeling will go away soon after," he said, smiling up at me sincerely. I laughed at him, as if I ever got a feeling like sadness.

"Ah, you're always so mean," he half whined, half laughed. I kissed him hard, and he stared up at me with bright eyes.

"What do you have for me, Xanxus?"

I leaned in and kissed him again, more softly this time. His lips were really warm, so I bit the bottom one a little. He whimpered. I started kissing him deeper, and pictures of his face and the back of his head always staring out the window and the sound of his voice laughing and screaming and crying swam all around in my brain and tried to stop me from doing it. He put his hand on the scar on my face and kissed me back. My hands were going all over his body and every-thing, and I ripped his clothes while taking them off. Both of us were panting pretty loudly by now, and he lazily pulled down on my shirt to rip the buttons off, then tugged my pants down and moaned when he saw how hard I already was. He pulled me down by my hair and kissed me so hard it was kind of unpleasant, and that's when I shoved it in. I felt the hotness of his breath against my lips as he groaned in pain, but he still didn't stop kissing me, and I started slamming my hips into him right away. After a while, he wrapped his crazy legs around me so he could arch his back just so, and I pushed all the way into him violently enough to make him break away and cry out like a girl. I kept doing it just like that until he was practically crying, then went back to thrusting more shallowly. His eyes were closed and tears were coming out a little, so I kissed them away, but after that I sat up. He was so short that I had to bend a lot to kiss him while fucking him, and it made my back really angry. I looked down at him and asked in between short breaths,

"Do you trust me?"

"... Yes," he answered. He didn't.

"Good. I love you."

My hands went to his throat. I shifted all my weight to there, and started pounding into him so hard, the bed was making a dent in the wall. He didn't try to struggle like his pet had, or pull my hands away. He only slowly put his hands on top of mine and looked up at me with his face that was turning purple, and his body's natural response of trying as hard as it could to get oxygen. I kept on fucking him as hard as I could... Finally being able to see him like this, it was hotter than any-thing else I had felt up until now. I don't know if I was even breathing any-more, it was just a lot of sexual noises. A bit of blood trickled out of Tsuna's nose, and he closed his eyes tightly. Two tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. I was getting really close... Going faster and faster... Then, his instinct finally kicked in and he pulled on my hands as hard as he could, but he was so weak. He thrashed around beneath me, just as the lion had―His body's last attempt to save the brain which had lost too much oxygen to function. It was kind of perverse... A different kind of dying will. His whole body gave one last weak pull... then some-thing gave beneath my hands.

"Tsunayoshi..." I orgasmed so hard, I blacked out.

When I woke up, it hadn't been very long. I practically had to peel my hands off of Tsuna's neck, and my stomach turned when I saw what was underneath. A deep, purple bruise in the shape of my hands was on his neck, and there was some-thing weird, like, his throat had been lodged out of place or something. I looked up at his face. His eyes were closed as if he could be sleeping, but all the colour had gone out, and now blood softly stained his mouth as well as dripping from his nose.

I was feeling so supremely happy― I had waited so long for this day. Just thinking about it, and admiring the way Tsuna's lifeless body looked, I was getting turned on all over again. I kicked the bed sheets away and pulled him onto my lap... His head lolled disgustingly. It took a little bit to get him into a position so he wouldn't fall over, then I held him against me and lifted him up so i could penetrate his ass. It was still sticky from my cum from before, and I made sure the whole length of my cock was inside him before I started thrusting it in and out slowly, enjoying the feeling of his warm body slowly going cold in my arms. I came kind of prematurely when I guess the pressure in his body must have been balancing out, and he made a moaning noise. After fucking his corpse, I collapsed on the bed with my arms still wrapped around him and went to sleep, and when I woke up, he was gone.

When the flashback was over, on top of feeling nauseous, there was a horrible pain in my head.

... But no, that wasn't it, there was some-thing else missing... I looked at the bottle in my hand. It was empty. I tried thinking about drinking whatever had been inside, tried to remember what it tasted like... Any-thing to help me remember the rest of what happened. It was the same as before, though; No clues showed up. I stared at the bottle and screwed up my face in thought. Last time, I had had to give up. I tried to get the memory out of my head, but I found myself thinking of Tsuna again. This thought went through my head and gave me a weird feeling... Like, how I'd never be able to talk to him again and every-thing. Pretty depressing stuff.

... That was it.

"Drink it when you're feeling sad," he had said.

I woke up a few hours later with Tsuna's body slowly rotting in my arms. His eyes were open and staring blankly at me like a doll's. In all my life as an assassin, I had always thought that whole thing about the "light going out of some-one's eyes" after they died was bullshit; no-one's eyes ever looked any less lively after I blew their brains out. Now, however, I could understand it a little bit... The eyes that had been bright just a little while ago now were dull and dead, a cloudy blue film where brown iris and black pupil should have been. A feeling gripped me that had never occurred to me any of the times I dreamed of killing him or had murderous feelings― I wanted him to wake up. I looked over his body... The side that he was laying on had turned a bruise-y purple, and he was just starting to become stiff. I picked up the glass bottle and uncorked it and took its odd-tasting contents in one quick shot, then got out of bed, cradling Tsuna in my arms and spacing out a little. I was thinking... Maybe he would never wake up again, but I could still make sure he would be able to see the sky for one more night.

By now, I was having cold sweat. I went to the window and looked outside... Apparently, it had become night time at some point. I climbed up onto the roof, as usual, and began my search for Tsunayoshi. The mist had cleared up, and the stars were bright. Really bright. I could see the scintillating colour beyond their hot, white forms. Flaming reds and yellows and cool, shiny blues and greens all danced against a sky of indigo and violet, and it didn't seem right to be so cold under such bright lights. Still, I kept looking. The roof was so big, and I was searching for one tiny detail.

After about an hour of roaming around, I finally found it. The shadowy black outline on the dark surface... I clumsily tried to work my nails under it, and eventually wrenched the thin layer up. I pulled him out of the tiny gap in the boards by his arm, and the skin there ripped apart sickly so I had to grab him in both my arms before he fell. His skin was peeling and his face was too skinny, and his tongue was sticking out a little. He smelled really funky. I tried to carry him to the place where we always laid, but I was feeling really light-headed, and so damn tired. I closed my eyes and held him tightly, like a doll... His body was warm. When I opened my eyes again, he was staring up at me sleepily.

"I've been waiting for you, what took you so long?" He asked with a smile. I grinned back and wiped some blood away from my nose.

"It took me about a hundred years to find that stupid door. It blends in too well." The streams running down my face could have just been me crying again if I didn't know the scent of blood so well.

I mustered up the strength to drag both of our bodies to the edge, and finally sat down. The movement had made my aching stomach turn horribly, and I just kind of looked down and puked blood all over the both of us.

"Let's stay like this forever, okay?"

"Yeah."


End file.
